New Beginnings

Well, there's so much I want to talk about.  A lot has happened the past year.  The biggest obvious is that we had a baby!  A beautiful girl name Austen Josephine.  She really is a miracle, my dream come true.  But her story will come later.  For now, I wanted to share where I am at today.

While I was pregnant, I went back and forth basically the whole time whether or not I wanted to stay home or go back to work.  The reason I wanted to stay home was obvious.  I want to be the one to care for my baby.  To feed her, play with her, rock her to sleep.  I also wanted to be able to pick up my big kid from school and spend time with him without rushing to do homework, eat dinner, then get ready for bed.  He loves playing sports but we weren't able to put him on a team because I wasn't able to get off in time to take him to practice.

But I also loved my job and the people I worked with.  My boss is an amazing and generous lady and my colleagues are fun.  The atmosphere at work is one of the best I've ever experienced.  And I had creative freedom in just about every project I worked on.  It was the best.

In the end, I chose staying at home.  What helped me make my decision is that my husband felt at peace with me staying home.  Of course, there are times where we both freaked out about finances but so far, we feel that this is where the Lord has us right now.  I know being a stay at home mom is privilege.  Not everyone has the luxury to do this.  It is a blessing to be the one to care for your kids and raise them and lead them to know the Lord.

The days at home are long and hard sometimes.  There's non-stop nursing, endless amount of fussiness, and barely anytime to take a shower.  There's entertaining the big kid so he doesn't end up playing video games all day.  It's figuring out that cooking dinner in the morning is the best at this time because I never know how the end of the day will play out.  And sometimes we go to Target to walk aimlessly around so the baby can take a good long hour nap.  This "job" is not glamorous by any means.

But there's also quiet time and prayers with the big kid in the morning that have led to life altering questions.  We play soccer in the backyard whenever the baby naps and then when she wakes up, I walk around the neighborhood while he rides his bike.  The mornings are the best because they are slow and no one has to get anywhere right away (big kid is on summer break!).  We all spend time in bed and take our time getting up to eat breakfast.  We talk in high-pitch voices and make silly faces so the baby will smile at us and babble back.  We have picnics in the living room for lunch and have watched all the oldie but goodie movies like ET, The Sandlot, and Princess Bride.  These moments are fleeting and I want to treasure them forever.

But I still have to work being at home.  I have taken on some freelance projects and also illustrating a children's book.  I have started sewing/quilting again and man, I have missed it.  It is good to be dreaming of quilt patterns to write and fabric patterns to design.  My dream has always been to pursue the quilting industry as a professional and I have tried to do that while I was working full time but it was too much.  Now, I feel like that it is the right time and I am excited to see where this future could lead me.

So this is where I am at.  Some days I feel very confident that this was the right decision.  And then some days I have a melt down in my head about how the heck we are going to pay our bills.  But the Lord is faithful like He always is.  In my freak out moments, I have seen orders flood in or potential clients contact me out of the blue.  It is not me who provides, it is Him.  I am grateful that He has allowed me to be home with my children and pursue my design dreams.